March 2012
1 tag
I can’t wait for a politician to pander to me.
Imagine those soundbites:
We’re bringing back Arrested Development and giving it the budget of “How I met your mother”
I drive a 300zx with a RB26DETT, shit’s so cash bro.
I’m sick and tired of people acting like 3 foot subs count as party subs
This nation was founded on cuban sandwich, custard, and chowder...
1 tag
I feel like if Tyrion had a biography, the title...
showmethebedroomfloor:
I just wish more people understood how fucking hilarious I am.
This is among the best jokes I’ve heard all month.
So my pal is going to take pictures of me in my confederate flag boxers tomorrow. Bless her heart.
Guess who found a cowboy hat too?
I hope Jefferson Davis rolls over in his grave when he finds out that I’m getting a Canadian person to take pictures of me in confederate flag boxers to impress boys on the internet.
2 tags
Sometimes I get jealeous of cool tights in women’s fashion. Then I remember that men’s shoes are designed to be comfortable and cool ties exist.
aintasuperhero:
nehzoomey:
how do 90% of people on tumblr even go outside without being offended by a blade of grass or something
some people don’t have grass where they live, check ur privilege
3 tags
I think the variance of mathematical talent is so strange.
The average person probably probably couldn’t prove a simple identity to save their life. But then there’s people like Euler and Gauss who personally advance mathematics by ~100 years.
Everyone is human. but we’re all pretty different. That’s strange.
1 tag
My universe is defective.
Entropy always increases and there’s a conservation of energy.
What’s your return policy, and can I please speak to who is in charge?
Next time someone says that they tapped an ass,
I’ll ask ‘em why they’re having howdy-dos with donkeys.
February 2012
1 tag
Just the tip of a work in progress for my friend JC.
And deep in the tickle-ass, some people say
if you put the tip in deep enough you can still see today,
where the hoes once stood
as bow-legged as they could
before someone chased the hoes away
what was the hoes?
And why were they there?
and why were they taken and made bow-legged somewhere?
from the far end of town where the...
4 tags
I’m a fan of snarky quotation marks. I was reading about sub sandwiches on wikipedia (I won’t even pretend that’s normal) and I came across this gem.
Many locations that provide catering services also offer very large 3-foot and 6-foot “Giant” sandwiches.
I agree. A 6 foot sandwich isn’t that giant. I’ve slayed one with 2 friends before. Someone...
Today my intermediate macroeconomics midterm tried to assault me.
By analogy:
A would-be perp tried to by me a drink and I accepted it and downed the thing. Then I began to feel strange. Luckily, my mass overcame the dose of roofies just in time for me to recover the situation. I came to and proceded to bludgeon the assailant with my slab of meat.
In reality:
The test started out easy...
Quantum computing is so cool.
Between new states of matter, new ways to cool space, and new results it’s really going to happen before I’m old.
My friend Brian once said, “Imagine the games you’d be able to play on a quantum computer!”
To which I retorted, “Ultimate Prime Factorization! The game to rule them all”
1 tag
I had some strange dreams last night.
The first part involved me riding a public bus late at night. After I got on the bus, I realized I wasn’t wearing any pants or shoes so I couldn’t get off the bus and walk home. The bus pulled up to a sports stadium that was under construction and I became worried and jumped out the window of the bus. Then the folks on the bus got gassed. The...
I know you all think I’m crazy, but I think there’s something to using Bayesian techniques to holomorphic encryption.
I guess you’d have to find distributions that have holomorphic properties (there has to be some relation between moment generating functions and unique holomorphic transformations).
Imagine if you used a Bayesian key and a bayesian speed up with an RSA key...
As crazy as it sounds, I think that I need to live the question. I can’t just find a reservoir of answers. I need to discover them for myself.
Though I’m totally just rationalizing my mistake. I should have hit him up for his digets.
4 tags
my favorite thing about my job is meeting role models.
Today I helped this super awesome guy find some stuff. He was super big (I want to be super big some day!). And he was dapper as fuck. Seriously, he wore a hugo boss suit to an office supply store on a Sunday. And he reeked of weed. And he drove a supercharged Jaguar and was super friendly and made a math joke (a joke about series...
1 tag
I can’t play online video games without wishing vivisection on everyone.
My only objection to Unit 731 was that they chose the wrong test subjects.
also tailgaters and the soccer moms who drive poorly in their large SUVs where I live.
3 tags
I can’t wait to play my cover of this song...
1 tag
WatchHerein I impersonate my favorite character from Teen Mom: Jenelle’s Mom.
And I thought you all would like to know that this was done in confederate flag boxers. Ironically, I feel 100% more fabulous when I have confederate flag boxers on.
Let me wake up & feel entirely proud that the boy...
gaymzee:
in west skrilladelphia
born and raised
in the remix is where i dropped most of my bass
I think the fundamental flaw of bed and breakfast inns is the timing. When I’m on vacation, I don’t want to get up early. How about breakfast in bed? At the crack of noon?
that’s something I’d be interested in.
I have serious reservations about taking risque pictures in confederate boxers.
oh well.
with my luck, I’ll get famous it’ll actually matter.
please make “the south will rise again” jokes when I actually take the pictures and if you’re handsome, please hit on me.
1 tag
If you ever wondered what a POV of an econ degree is like.
It’s putting half a bottle of wine in your mind vice while you do a wicked sweet lab. I like inverting color - it makes excel a lot less straining to work on.
Since you’re curious, I’m downloading government data about the distribution of income since q1 1947 (income from corporate profits, wages, salaried vs....